Is It Back to School Time Yet?

First day of school 2 years ago

It's officially that time of year again. The time when I hate all of my children. The time when summer has begun to wind down and we're all really REALLY getting on each other's nerves. I love my children, but the thought of not spending every waking second with them, well... that sounds fabulous. 7.5 hours of peace and quiet -- that's totally worth the homework battles and bullying and parent-teacher conferences.

Not only am I sick of them -- they are sick of each other. All Daniel needs to do is look at Quinn, and Quinn is bellowing, "Go AWAY!!!" We've finally gotten Emily's crying (over everything, and nothing, all at the same time) under control but she and Claire are still locked in an epic competition for... everything. Who can color the most pictures, play with the most Webkinz, eat the most snacks. It's monkey see, monkey do around here.

It probably doesn't help matters that Quinn has been sick for a week, Claire's starting to get sick, and, now that I think about it, my throat feels a little sore and scratchy too. Great. Top that off with I've had to buy clothes, and shoes, and school supplies for four kids and, well. I'm flat broke. Thus -- fun budget is greatly depleted and we need to stick close to home. Never mind that we have laptops, and Netflix, and Wii, and TV, and Nintendo DS, and all the game apps you could possibly want on the various iGadgets around here. Staying home sucks. Poor babies.

I've taken to barricading myself in the bedroom playing Bloons TD4 on the iPad and fantasizing about when they've all gone away to college. Or reform school. At this point, I don't really care which. However, I'm starting to think I need to find a new hiding place because, dammit, they keep finding me in here!  Here's how our day went yesterday...

[Claire] Knock knock knock.

[Me] What?

[Claire] Can I have a snack?

Now keep in mind, the child had just hoovered down a plateful of eggs and toast not 15 minutes earlier.

[Me] Fine.

Approximately two seconds later...

[Emily] Knock knock knock

[Me] What?

[Emily]  Can I have a snack?

(What I'd like to say: "No Emily. We all just really like Claire better than you and we're going to let her have all the delicious snacks she wants and you need to subsist on liver and onions and lima beans.")

What I said...

[Me]  Fine.

Approximately three minutes later...

[Quinn] Knock knock knock

[Me] What?

[Quinn] Daniel keeps touching me and it's really bothering me.

[Me] DANIEL!! Can you come here please?

[Quinn] Oh. And can I have a snack?

[Me] FINE!

[Daniel] Knock knock knock

[Me] Come in Daniel.

[Daniel] Hi Ms. Andrea! I love you very much.

[Me] I know Daniel. And I love you too. Do you keep touching Quinn?

[Daniel] No.

[Me] Are you sure you don't keep touching Quinn? Because he said you are and he said he's asked you to stop a bunch of times.

[Daniel] He didn't ask me a bunch of times. Just a few times.

[Me] But he did ask you to stop. So could you please stop?

[Daniel]  Can I have a snack?

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

Only 15 more days until I can have a little peace and quiet around here. I'm really hoping I can make it that long. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and eat all the snacks.