Those Who Gossip With You Will Gossip Of You

Originally posted on Monday, August 16, 2010 at 1:52pm

I'm stealing some of my favorite notes from Facebook (and is it really stealing if I wrote them? Discuss) and posting them here.  

Dear Facebook Stalker:

You are a pathetic excuse for a human being.  Your own life is apparently so devoid of excitement that you must stoop to copying items from mine (and other's) Facebook pages and distributing them amongst people of (dis) interest in an effort to add stimulation to your sad, sorry little life.

How pitiable that you choose to associate yourself with the wretched, bitter, angry person who invites you to participate in "Mission Possible".  That you've joined forces with a lunatic in her witch hunt.

And yet... I want to thank you.

You see, every single thing... EVERY SINGLE THING I write on here I write with the express knowledge and belief that my words will someday be produced as "evidence" in a trial.

So I hope that you find my posts such as:

81 degrees and sunny? yep... it's a beach day. we'll be at first curve. ~ July 10 at 11:05am

or

is waterlogged, has sand in strange places, has been baked to perfection... another great day on Hamlin Lake. Thanks Ms. Lisa and Mr. Doug!  ~ July 17 at 8:18pm

or

No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage-ground of truth.  ~ August 12 at 4:59am

utterly and completely fascinating.  Because the really interesting stuff that I do and think I don't say on here.  It's a little thing called restraint.  Maybe you should learn about that.

And I thank you because when I do chose to pass on the occasional insult I do so with the express knowledge and belief that the person I intend to insult gets the message.

Thank you for being my errand boy.